Best Gnome for the Job

For the nostalgic: The traditional garden gnome.

Traditional garden gnomes have a personality that is both fun and charming. They are the perfect addition for garden enthusiasts looking for a gnome with a vintage feel. These friendly figures come in an assortment of colors, from their usual red-and-blue attire to more contemporary yellow raincoats. Their ceramic bodies are often painted with intricate details, such as white beards and rosy cheeks. Some of the more traditional garden gnomes will have a pointy hat, boots, and even carry gardening equipment like rakes or watering cans.

If this type of garden gnome sounds interesting to you, we recommend one of our best-selling traditional models: “The Gnomesticator,” created by Tiki Designs’ own founder David Robles himself! This plucky little fellow has all the right details: pointy hat, suspenders holding up his pants, and a big bushy beard. His expression is cheerful but mischievous—a perfect reflection of the playful nature of your inner gardener!

For the traveler: Wanderlust gnomes.

Traveling gnomes come in two varieties: the gnomes who are traveling, and the gnomes who want to travel. For example, this gnome sitting on a beach is clearly already on vacation. He’s already made it! But there are also gnomes that just want to get on an airplane already. This sitting gnome definitely has wanderlust and is ready to go somewhere new! If you’re like me and can’t travel right now because of COVID-19, we can still dream of being able to go somewhere by having a gnome that’s daydreaming about going places be part of our garden decor. Our gardens could really use some fun right now anyway!

For the fisherman: Fisherman’s gnome.

You may not ever catch a fish as big as this gnome, but it’s still fun trying.

This is when we realize that the gnomes are getting bigger with each picture.

If you’re here, I’m guessing you like fishing. But do you like fishing enough to own a giant fish statue?

For the fun guy or gal in your life: Penis garden gnomes (not a typo)

If you like to have fun, enjoy (or are at least willing to endure) a bit of absurdity, and/or have an irreverent sense of humor, a penis garden gnome is for you. These gnomes are just what they sound like: traditional-looking garden gnomes with large, erect penises in place of their legs and feet. They look silly and absurd standing next to the usual garden deer or squirrels that appear in most lawn decorations. Although these gnomes can be used for practical jokes (e.g., pranking a family member who loves gardening by placing one in his or her flower bed), they’re generally purchased by people who want to bring some humor into their lives and the lives of those around them. In fact, they may even make an ideal gift for someone who needs cheering up!

These particular types of yard ornamentations aren’t appropriate for everyone: if you know someone who is easily offended or has children running around the yard, it might be best to steer clear of these little guys. Even if your neighbor keeps his lawn manicured and pristine, this might not be the best option; after all, sometimes you just want to smile at a cheery cardinal on a fence rather than wonder about the… life choices… of Father Gnome over there.

For your family guy: Dadbod garden gnomes.

The dadbod garden gnome is for you if you’re into the dadbod aesthetic.

Unlike other garden gnomes, these guys have a bit of a belly. They’re more natural looking as they look like they are in their mid-life years. They also don’t run like the slim, athletic gnome or run around and party like the punk rock rebel gnome. These guys could be your buddy who just wants to sit back and relax with a beer as he overlooks his yard or garden area. They are very popular right now and can be found at most home improvement stores across the United States.

For the rebel in your life: Pissing garden gnomes.

Do you feel like our society has become overly sanitized? Are you bothered by the fact that we can’t show two men kissing on national television, but we can show a man’s head exploding in slow-motion? Do you feel like major corporations have turned sex into something banal to make money off of it? Then it might be time for you to invest in your own pissing gnome.

Pissing gnomes are becoming more and more popular among people who are irritated with the state of society. The first pissing garden gnomes were created by a group of German working class men who wanted to rebel against what they saw as their hypocritical bosses, who preached morality while cheating on their wives.

Bring one of these guys home and let him serve as a reminder: don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! In fact, get one for everybody! They’re great gifts.

Garden gnomes are so much more than ornaments- they are a way to express yourself!

I have a garden gnome, and if you don’t already have one, it’s time to stake your claim on this humble piece of decor. Depending on how you look at it, garden gnomes can be anything from a kitschy ornament to a profound statement about the nature of life itself. Here are three ways that you can use your garden gnome to stand out:

  • Expressing yourself. Garden gnomes come in all kinds of shapes and sizes for every personality type. If you enjoy outdoor activities like fishing, there are even some gnomes designed with fishing poles and hats. No matter what kind of style you prefer, there is a style that will suit your needs.
  • Conversation starter. Garden gnomes aren’t so common anymore that they aren’t interesting or notable in some way; they could serve as great conversation starters when people visit your house! You never know when a new friend might compliment your choice in garden ornaments and give you an opportunity to tell them why you chose it—a perfect stepping stone into conversation about something else!
  • Kids love ‘em! Do you have kids? A lot of parents use the “garden gnome game” to make yard work more fun for their children by hiding the garden gnome somewhere in the yard and sending their kids out to hunt for it!

Well hello there, fellow gnome-lovers!

Welcome to Best Gnome for the Job, a blog devoted entirely to finding the best garden gnome for your lifestyle.

I know what you’re thinking: “Why would I want a garden gnome?” And let me tell you, I said the same thing when my sister-in-law first gave me a garden gnome for my birthday. But as I’ve gotten older (and less cool), I’ve found that there is something absolutely enchanting about having one of these little guys in your yard. They offer an element of whimsy and humor to your landscape, but they also bring with them a sense of security and safety—especially if you get one that looks like a tiny miniature cop or fireman (as mine does).

But not all garden gnomes are created equal! Some have been crafted lovingly by hand and others are straight off of an assembly line in China. Some have been magically enchanted and others are just plain plastic. So what’s the difference, and what do you need to know before making your purchase? That’s where this blog comes in! Each week we’ll be bringing you the latest and greatest reviews on garden gnomes so you can decide which one is right for

Are you looking for a garden gnome?

Then you’ve come to the right place. Best Gnome for the Job is your source for finding the best garden gnomes and all the accessories to go with them. We test out every gnome on our own gardens to see how they behave in different climates, climates, and time zones. Whatever your lifestyle or budget, we can help you find the perfect garden gnome.

Are you a gnome person? You might think you’re not, but the truth is that pretty much everyone is. The key is to find the right gnome for your lifestyle. A well-placed gnome can add whimsy and personality to any garden or living space, and keep unwanted creatures away from your plants.

But how do you choose the right one? There are many factors to consider, like size, color, and accessories—not to mention whether you want an active or passive gnome.

At Best Gnome for the Job, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about wrought iron gnomes in order to pick the perfect one for your place. Read on for some tips about what kind of gnome best fits your needs.

We’re so excited to have you here!

Whether you’re a gnome first-timer or a veteran gnome-owner, we know you’ll find something at Best Gnomes for the Job. We review a new garden gnome every week, making sure that the one you end up with is the best one for your lifestyle.

So what are you waiting for? Browse our current reviews, or sign up for our newsletter to get them (and other awesome gnome-related content) delivered straight to your inbox!

Wondering which gnome is right for you? You’ve come to the right place.

This blog is dedicated to finding the perfect garden gnome for whatever your needs may be. Whether you’re looking for a gnome that can protect your flowers from animals and insects or one that can guide visitors to your home, we’ve got you covered.

Are you a career-oriented go-getter? Maybe you’re more of a cultured intellectual? Or perhaps you’re a retired senior who just wants someone to chat with while they work in their garden? Whatever your lifestyle, there’s a gnome out there that’s right for you.

Hey there, you gnome lover you!

So… you’re looking to add a little magic to your lawn. We get it—we’ve been there, too. What kind of gnome should you get? And where should you get it? How do you make sure that the gnome isn’t going to just turn around and waddle off into the sunset with that mischievous glint in his eye?

Well, you’ve come to the right place. We’re here to help you find the perfect garden gnome for your lifestyle! If you want some help picking out your new friend, check out our blog posts below.

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